Is it sex or love making? 

Sex is in the media nearly everywhere we look and clearly, we are all interested in it to some degree or another. But what exactly is the secret to ‘great sex’? And when does sex become “making love”? Is there a difference between sex and making love? And if so, what is it?

  1. Sex is well – sexy, and can be fast, hard but also slower, and is often objectifying.
  2. Making love is slower and gentle, only happens between two people that are in love, have mutual respect, and consider the feelings and pleasure of the sexual partner.

The first does not require you to love or even like the person you are having sex with – it is more about your ‘getting off’ rather than pleasing your sexual partner.

Is it possible that the difference between sex and making love is that sex finishes once the physical act is over, whereas lovemaking continues to be an expression that can be carried over into many (or all) interactions between a loving couple?

You can have sex without making love so can you simply make love without having sex?

Such as …

  • Making your lover a cup of tea
  • Brushing up against them in the kitchen when cooking together
  • Stealing a passionate kiss
  • Sharing a look across the dinner table
  • Going for a walk together for the joy of it

Are these all not forms of building love, or perhaps even making love? Is it possible that the making love in the sexual sense is merely another expression and confirmation of the true love shared between committed adults when born from a foundation of ‘lovemaking’ in everyday life?

If foreplay is attributed to potentially enhancing sex, is it possible that loving expressions towards your partner are like divine foreplay, forever building towards amazing lovemaking sessions? That sounds dangerously orgasmic and maybe idealistic, but surely worth some further investigation?


Making love is an extension of how you are living with yourself and how that equal union is lived with your partner. Therefore, making love is always an act that confirms the love you already have as opposed to having sex which in truth is an act that seeks love. 

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