Is it sex or love making? 

Sex is in the media nearly everywhere we look and clearly, we are all interested in it to some degree or another. But what exactly is the secret to ‘great sex’? And when does sex become “making love”? Is there a difference between sex and making love? And if so, what is it?

  1. Sex is well – sexy, and can be fast, hard but also slower, and is often objectifying.
  2. Making love is slower and gentle, only happens between two people that are in love, have mutual respect, and consider the feelings and pleasure of the sexual partner.

The first does not require you to love or even like the person you are having sex with – it is more about your ‘getting off’ rather than pleasing your sexual partner.

Is it possible that the difference between sex and making love is that sex finishes once the physical act is over, whereas lovemaking continues to be an expression that can be carried over into many (or all) interactions between a loving couple?

You can have sex without making love so can you simply make love without having sex?

Such as …

  • Making your lover a cup of tea
  • Brushing up against them in the kitchen when cooking together
  • Stealing a passionate kiss
  • Sharing a look across the dinner table
  • Going for a walk together for the joy of it

Are these all not forms of building love, or perhaps even making love? Is it possible that the making love in the sexual sense is merely another expression and confirmation of the true love shared between committed adults when born from a foundation of ‘lovemaking’ in everyday life?

If foreplay is attributed to potentially enhancing sex, is it possible that loving expressions towards your partner are like divine foreplay, forever building towards amazing lovemaking sessions? That sounds dangerously orgasmic and maybe idealistic, but surely worth some further investigation?


Making love is an extension of how you are living with yourself and how that equal union is lived with your partner. Therefore, making love is always an act that confirms the love you already have as opposed to having sex which in truth is an act that seeks love. 

Words Beyond Sex

Sex in our modern world has so many meanings shoveled onto one word that it’s not exactly a rose, it’s more like a whole flower garden, and the result isn’t necessarily always a beautiful creation.
When the way we think about things creates our reality, how much confusion are we perpetuating in this area by being so unclear about language?

Gary Douglas, best-selling author and founder of Access Consciousness, and Dr. Dain Heer, have a different way of looking at this that could create a lot more clarity. They suggest using six different words to describe different aspects of sex.

These words are sensuality, sex, sexuality, copulation, sexualness, and orgasm.

Sensuality is what bodies like. Most of us don’t get nearly enough of this nurturing touch, perhaps in part because of how much we confuse it with other components of sex, such as copulation.

The necessity of the human need to be touched is demonstrated by the deaths of infants in orphanages who died when given adequate physical care but were deprived of touching and holding.

Sex, as Douglas and Heer describe it, is that energy you emit when you are “looking good, feeling good, and strutting your stuff.” You’re likely to get whistles and flirtatious glances because your energy is inviting others to flow that sexual energy towards you. This can be fun for everyone and does NOT have to lead to copulation either!

Interestingly, this energy of sex can be created without the need for another person present around you. Being dependent on that other person who is around or in relationship with you can actually distort and destroy your relationship by creating an unnatural dependence on that person to supply what could truly come from within you.

Sexuality is a definition, and like all definitions, is a judgment. It defines whom you will and will not receive the flow of sexual energy from. “I am a straight man,” “I am a gay woman,” are examples of this definition. Are you one sex, or are you an infinite being? Couldn’t an infinite being receive sexual energy from everyone? Again, receiving the energy does not mean you have to act on it!

Copulation is the act of putting body parts together, any body parts, in any combination. Have you noticed how much reluctance we have to experience the aspects of sex described above, for fear they would lead to copulation? What if we were clear that copulation was a choice that could be chosen or not chosen at any point? Might that create more clarity and ease in this area?

Sexualness is the creative, caring, healing, and nurturing energy of life itself. Sexualness can occur not only during copulation but whenever any creative caring nurturing activity is entered into. You can be sexual eating a great meal, or a great person! Sexualness is receiving on this planet, and it exists in everything.

Orgasm is the energy that creates the body, nurtures the body, and keeps the body young.

If you’d like a reminder of how nurturing and expansive this energy feels, try taking a few minutes to pull the energy of orgasm through your body from your feet all the way up. Now keep that energy flowing for a while, how does your body feel? This works even if the last orgasm you had was 100 years ago! If you nourished your body with that energy daily, would it have to show those signs of aging that we’ve come to expect are “unavoidable”?

Remember the last conversation you had about sex. What if instead of using the word sex, you began to explore using the words above to accurately describe the energy of what you were really talking about and what you meant? Would the conversations on this area be clearer? What if you were to use these words every time you thought about or discussed the subject?
Might your sexual garden get a little less weedy? We’re definitely willing to try and find out!

This article was originally published on access-consciousness-blog.com 

6 Ways: How to Insanly Boost Your Sex Life

Do you arrive home tired, stressed out and not in a mood for sex? Then you certainly need a booster to level up your sex life. We are going to look at 6 ways to improve your experience in bed:

 

Be honest (Seriously)

Boost Your Sex Life: Be honest

If you are trying to fake an orgasm to please your partner, then we recommend you to JUST STOP DOING IT! It may have worse effects than you can ever think of. Your partner will feel disappointed and your relationships may take a new turn once he/she finds out that you were faking. This would cause tensions and mind you, he/she may stop believing you.

 

Try different positions

Boost Your Sex Life: Try Different Positions

Boredom is the worst enemy of bedtime pleasures. If you find yourself in a position where the moves of your partner become predictable then it’s time to try something new. You need to add new interests in your sex life. You should try changing positions ranging from doggy style, cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl to the sultry saddle, the squat, standing up, and speed bump. Try to find new spots of touch and find out the most sensitive ones for arousal. This would surely help you.

 

Be passionate

Boost Your Sex Life: Be Passionate

You get in return what to give. We would like to suggest that you should at least go for kissing and cuddling even when you are tired or in stress because if you push yourself a little, chances are that you would end up getting more passionate than a while ago. You may even end up going for thrusting into each other!

 

Talk to your partner

Boost Your Sex Life: Talk to Your Partner

This is one of the most important ones. You should always be open to your partner and should be able to express yourself in front of him/her. You should never hide your feeling and should discuss how you like to be touched or where to be touched for more arousal. If you have complains to your partner, then you ought to share it.

 

Be playful and creative

Boost Your Sex Life: Be playful and Creative

Tease your partner, enjoy with them, have fun. Mind you: Have fun but never make fun of them. Try out new things. You may try having sex at different odd and exciting places, wear different sexy clothes, arouse different organs before sex etc. The human brain is very creative, you just need to stimulate a bit. It would provide you with way more ideas as a limit of imagination lies only inside your mind. So, never feel low. Focus on finding solutions rather than repenting on a problem.

 

Eat Healthy and Exercise

Boost Your Sex Life: Exercises and Healthy Diet

Most importantly, you must focus on eating good food and avoiding alcohol, smoking and junk foods. You must exercise in order to maintain the level of fitness, activeness and agility. Else, you may feel weak, lazy for sex and we think, this is not that you want!

 

Therefore, there are a hell lot of things that you can employ to boost your sex life and we have just touched the tip of an iceberg. The important thing is to take the decision and not just read these. Your actions will depend on how badly you want it!